they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable