Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
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Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
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ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila