I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
