I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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