ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
