Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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