Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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