Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just invented taco cereal.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I stole a fireplace last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
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The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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