I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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