Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
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At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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