Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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