so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
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Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
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Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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