Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
