I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
