I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
