I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
