Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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