I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
