So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
