my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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