were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
