She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
