oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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