A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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