I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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