Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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