Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
