I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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