Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize