Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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