I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
