Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
