I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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