she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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