come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
