then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
