I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
