he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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