Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
