I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
