I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
