remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
