I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just pynch a tree in the face
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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