remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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