Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
