im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
