Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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