So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
