Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
