I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dick very happy bro
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
