I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
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