he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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