I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
