It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
