So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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