just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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